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The Role of Innocent Eskimo Villagers in the Acoustic Black Metal Scene

Some of you are familiar with teh Acoustic Black Metal scene, and while it seems perhaps it is on the ebb, in fact, this may simply be a lull before it explodes with new grim and frostbitten fury in the sweltering heat of the eastern seaboard’s southern parameters.

There have been many questions about specific elements of the Acoustic Black Metal scene, e.g., “why must so many things be frostbitten?” …and.. “Necrowizard? Don’t you mean necromancer?” And often these questions go unanswered, for it becomes clear that trve disciples need not ask…. the answers present themselves in dve time… and verily, this has been the case for me just in the past 24 hours…

In order for the rest of this to make sense, if you have not already been here*, you must immediately then click on the words “Begin the Necrodeathmortem” beneath the Newgrounds tank positioned in the inverted pentagram. Do it now:

…so the question has been presented “why innocent Eskimo villagers?” and as with all things related to the Necrowizard, in fact the answer is buried deep, interwoven into the most ancient facets of our psyche.

I’ll give you a hint:
apostrophe

Not there yet? here’s another…
Frank Zappa

Alright, does the name Nanook mean anything to you?

The legend of Nanook and the fur trapper as presented by Frank Zappa demonstrates precisely why the Necrowizard returns to unleash his wrath upon the village of “innocent” Eskimos: plain vengence for the vile injuries suffered by the fur trapper, who hitherto most certainly had been an obedient and trusted servant to the Necrowizard!

Consider these lyrics from “Nanook Rubs It”:

“Well, the fur-trapper stood there,
with his arms outstretched across the frozen white wasteland,
trying to figure out what he was going to do about his deflicted eyes.
And it was at that precise moment that he remembered an ancient Eskimo legend, wherein it is written
(on whatever it is that they write it on up there)
that if anything bad ever happens to your eyes
as the result of some sort of conflict with anyone named Nanook,
the only way you can get it fixed up is to go trudging across the tundra,
mile after mile, trudging across the tundra–right down to the parish of St. Alphonzo.”

…whereupon the fated fur trapper was subjected to further abuses of a pancake nature in the house of a saint.

It’s all making so much more sense to me now…

*(note: the “here” link does not work because the site shut down at the end of August 2006; as of 14/11/6, it appears some effort is being made to recapture elements of the site, but there’s nothing solid to substantiate those rumors–yet.) [back to top]

!!!24/5/8 update!!! The rumors proved manifest destiny! First rekindled by the breath of necroyetis on its hellish embers and blown over to geocities during the frostbitten winter of 2006/2007, where it is currently maintained in a grimly frozen form, later it demonstrated its impaling invertedness by also operating at a Romanian site beginning April 4, 2007.

Currently listening to:
Head for the Shallow
Big Business
Release date: 25 January, 2005

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